Gonna run till I don't jiggle.

Hello there internets.

I feel I should talk about my running. About a month or so ago I was up to five miles, then I got a cold and I lost it all. Now i can barely run 2 miles. Though this time I am going to go about it differently, I am going to plan my runs, making sure (when I am fit enough) that even my shortest runs are over half an hour. For a while I was running lots, but did not push myself and did 20 min runs every other day. At the time I was feeling rather proud of myself. However, you do not start burning fat till after half an hour! I need to make sure that I slow my pace and lengthen my runs.

I enjoy this running and I want to use it as my main weight loss activity. I wanna be fit again dammit. Basically im gonna rin till It don't jiggle!

Me Me Me Me .... Am I being too selfish?!

Hello there internets.

Recently I have been stuck, in being an adult. That is I now feel like an adult, which is good because I am one, but the thing is I don't know how to be one. And in trying to be 'more adult-like' I think I've made some very child-sh decisions. All because I worry. I worry i'm not where i'm meant to be, because nothing ever seems right. I compare myself to people that appear in my facebook news feed. I feel I should have done more, followed my passions and even have a relationship. This worry lead to bad decisions.

Let me back up.

I 'feel' grown up - I know what I'm about I feel I have changed and transitioned from my teenage to young adult era. Somedays I am really proud of who I have become. Other days I do not. I feel that sometimes I am too judgemental faker, who's still the person I was years ago, just hidden better. 


From this I have come to the conclusion that the person I am now does not fit with the people I used to know, in a strange way I think I have outgrown them. I feel mean stating that, but I think I have and I think thats okay! I think I need to let go and move on. I think I need some me time. I used to get annoyed about how long I have been single for. But actually I have come to the realisation that I want to be single. I'm happy being single. I need to spend my time, thinking about me, do the things I want to do, achieve some of my goals that I have set myself. Basically it's al about me me me me.

Now that does make me sound selfish ... which I probably am. But I've come to the realisation, that some of my friends have changed into some not very nice people, where others haven't changed at all. Sometimes being around them makes me feel like the person I used to be and they make me feel inadequate. Whereas actually I have achieved a lot, and grown,  I am no longer afraid to chase my dreams and aspirations. Unfortunately the person I am at the moment doesn't fit with the people they are. I feel a mix of guilt, because they are still my friends and I do value their friendship I just think I don't need it as much as I used to.

Basically me: stop making childish decisions and just grow up and stop being the worrier you always are.

This has turned into a very strange blog post apologies on my behalf. 

x x

Tea Tea Tea!

Hello there interent!

This is probably my third or fourth blog - this time I will be fully committed. I will I will I will.

Lets talk tea ...

So once again i'm on a healthy living kick and this time I am going to stick to it. Ignoring the fact I lived off takeaway yesterday and the fact i'm going out tonight, I will. I am currently on acne tablets again - I took them when I was 18 for 2 years came off them for 3 and guess what ti came back. I do wonder if they actually work, if I am just to stop them for my old friend acne to come back. Anyway I digress: the point is I cant drink milk while i'm on them. There goes my life's love affair with tea and coffee and well milk. However, it does help with my wanting to lose weight/get fit/have better skin and all that jazz. 

I looked at different kinds of tea (the non milk like tea) and I think I got a bit carried away.

 -Detox
-Defence 
-Purify 
-Mango and Strawberry.

Take that digestive system! 

Bwhahaha.

Anyway more about me and my goal:

I currently weigh 11 stone. I'm not too fat but would like to lose a stone, and tone my stomach. I am a keen runner and want to train for another half marathon again. I feel that my adult life is about to begin, and i'm not quite ready. I want to actually feel like I am in the right place and enjoy the moment. But I always seem to miss these moment or never quite have them. Hence my blog: I want to record my journey, I want to have a positive outlook and hopefully by the end be somewhere I want to be. And actually maybe be able to write blogs well rather than this load of shit.

Adios.
  x x