Me Me Me Me .... Am I being too selfish?!

Hello there internets.

Recently I have been stuck, in being an adult. That is I now feel like an adult, which is good because I am one, but the thing is I don't know how to be one. And in trying to be 'more adult-like' I think I've made some very child-sh decisions. All because I worry. I worry i'm not where i'm meant to be, because nothing ever seems right. I compare myself to people that appear in my facebook news feed. I feel I should have done more, followed my passions and even have a relationship. This worry lead to bad decisions.

Let me back up.

I 'feel' grown up - I know what I'm about I feel I have changed and transitioned from my teenage to young adult era. Somedays I am really proud of who I have become. Other days I do not. I feel that sometimes I am too judgemental faker, who's still the person I was years ago, just hidden better. 


From this I have come to the conclusion that the person I am now does not fit with the people I used to know, in a strange way I think I have outgrown them. I feel mean stating that, but I think I have and I think thats okay! I think I need to let go and move on. I think I need some me time. I used to get annoyed about how long I have been single for. But actually I have come to the realisation that I want to be single. I'm happy being single. I need to spend my time, thinking about me, do the things I want to do, achieve some of my goals that I have set myself. Basically it's al about me me me me.

Now that does make me sound selfish ... which I probably am. But I've come to the realisation, that some of my friends have changed into some not very nice people, where others haven't changed at all. Sometimes being around them makes me feel like the person I used to be and they make me feel inadequate. Whereas actually I have achieved a lot, and grown,  I am no longer afraid to chase my dreams and aspirations. Unfortunately the person I am at the moment doesn't fit with the people they are. I feel a mix of guilt, because they are still my friends and I do value their friendship I just think I don't need it as much as I used to.

Basically me: stop making childish decisions and just grow up and stop being the worrier you always are.

This has turned into a very strange blog post apologies on my behalf. 

x x